Bring Another Houghton Home

Then & Now

2010-11-25T20:00:00.001-07:00

It was one year ago today, Thanksgiving Day, that we visited Anastasiya at the orphanage and then were granted permission to take her to Kiev with us. We ate dinner at McDonald’s. Needless to say, we were very grateful for the feast we ate today with family and friends. As we look back on the past year, we have so much to be thankful for. This time last year, our only communication was through the computer, a translator, or creative hand gestures. Things were good, but awkward. Our family was spread across the world. Now, we not only have the day to spend together, but the communication and cohesion are wonderful. Anastasiya was fascinated by Thanksgiving, and her favorite part was the pumpkin pie. She helped me prepare some of the food, and said, “That’s a big turkey!” Our friends comment on how smart and full of life Anastasiya is. The Lord has really blessed and grown our family literally and figuratively over the last few years. Some fun stats: Allie turned sixteen and got behind the wheel, Andrew grew 5 inches and passed up mom, Anastasiya has a tremendous vocabulary and good grades, and Adam earned his second belt in Muay Tai. We appreciate your continued prayers for our family and many friends we have who are in Ukraine right now adopting children. Happy Thanksgiving!

In process, but making progress

2010-10-04T19:26:00.002-06:00

It’s been awhile since we’ve updated everyone on how our family is doing. By and large, we are adjusting well. Anastasiya has been home for 7 months now. She is super motivated and people are amazed at how far she has come! When she first arrived, she wasn’t interested in playing a sport, music lessons, dance etc. However, she just finished her first season of volleyball and she is taking piano lessons. It’s great to see her gaining confidence and overcoming shyness.
All of the kids are working hard in school and making good grades, and I am so grateful that God has answered my prayers that they would all settle in – especially the three that changed schools.
In the midst of all the good things, we are definitely still undergoing the process of becoming comfy with each other. I read a quote in a book that said, “Home is where you can go without being a guest.” We are all working toward becoming a seamless family where no one has to feel like the guest. It takes time: we can’t do it like Mike and Carol Brady who achieved this in one or two episodes. Adam has been part of the family for three years now, and I am really beginning to notice a marked difference, so I know that it will happen with Anastasiya as well. The spiritual battle doesn’t end when you get home! When I think of all the hard work it took to bring them home to America or all the hours of labor to bring them into the world, it seems to pale in comparison to the years of work we have ahead of us. I am reminded that “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” I don’t have the power to do it myself. For now, we will take things one day at a time and do our best to recognize the successes.

A sister’s view of adoption by Allie

2010-07-28T19:22:00.001-06:00

There are many joys and many hardships in adopting. Adopting in Ukraine was difficult in many ways. One of them being the time spent in Ukraine and the other being the language barrier. For our first adoption, we spent a total of six weeks in Ukraine. Many of those days we were without all meals, staying in very old run down apartments with an inability to communicate with the locals when our translator was busy. For out second adoption, my parents were in Ukraine for nine weeks. They left on my birthday, were gone for Thanksgiving, and were home barely in time for Christmas. My sister didn’t get home until after Christmas, though. My mom flew back and forth twice, and my dad three times. There are many stories I could share involving our stay in Ukraine, but there is much more to say about the post adoption adjustment.

When first arriving in Ukraine, our supervisor told us about this boy and girl that were in need of a family. My parents got permission to visit these kids, so we drove down to Tulchen, Ukraine to pay them a visit. When we got there we found out that the children had been hosted in Italy and were promised a home and many other things there. Sadly, though, because of Italian law, there were complications that caused the family to be unable to adopt these children. The children did not fully understand this, and they wanted to go to Italy, not home with us. This was very disappointing for our family, and we had to start our process in Ukraine all over again. When we finally got the chance to see pictures (this is how one finds the child they want to pursue in adoption) of more children, my parents felt led to a six year boy of the name Vladislav. When first meeting him, he was shy and looked terrified of us. So, my parents pulled out some toy cars and Andrew and Vladislav passed the car back and forth. Vladislav saw how I was sitting there just watching, so he passed the car to me as to include me. Vladislav seemed eager to have a family and he loved to hold mine and Andrew’s hands when going places. Upon first meeting him, I knew he was the right fit for our family.

After adopting Adam, as we named him to give him an English name, our family went crazy wanting to meet him, which is both good and bad. We had about two and a half weeks before school started that August, and we were trying to cram in family visits. Adam got loads of attention and gifts which was good for him, but put me and Andrew on the back burner. Andrew and I felt very left out during Adam’s first few months in America. One thing I never remember thinking, though, is “Why did we do this? Why can’t we just send him back?” Adam picked up on English fairly fast. We put him in kindergarten all day so that he would hear things twice, and hopefully pick up on them. He came with absolutely no English, so we had to start from the bottom up. The excitement of his adoption eventually died down, but there have still been many difficulties. Adam gets in trouble a lot at school mostly for behavioral issues. Adam likes to please people and doesn’t like to disappoint, so he is working hard at following instructions. He is also good at apologizing without being told, which is a respectable trait. Adam also has many difficulties with math, money in particular. He still struggles with English, but he has come a long way. Adam is nine years old now and is going into third grade. I am so proud of him because I know that he has had to work extremely hard, especially because he is in a private school. It is hard for me to be patient with him and be kind to him because he is six years younger than me and I am not used to that. My biological brother and I are a year and a half apart so we went through life stages together and experienced life together. Now, we have this nine year old, who is still discovering things about life and saying things that my brother and I are like, “no duh!” But I still love Adam to death and I am so glad that he is a part of our family!

Anastasiya’s adoption was different in many ways from Adam’s. Anastasiya came to America for a camp this last summer, so that is where we met her. The camp is called UOO (Ukraine Orphan Outreach) and this non- profit organization brings Ukraine orphans to America every summer to both meet families interested in adopting and to get to experience America. My family hangs out with these kids and helps plan some events, but not in the pursuit of adoption…or so my parents thought. One afternoon my parents told Andrew and I that they felt that God had called them to adopt an eleven year old girl by the name of Anastasiya from the UOO camp. We were ecstatic! I was so excited that I was finally going to have a little sister!

After my parents finally came home with Anastasiya, she didn’t get quite as much attention as Adam did, but our family and friends were still excited to get to meet her. She came with a basic foundation of English, which was nice, but she had to jump almost right into school. She was able to be in my mom’s fifth grade class, which was a blessing. She was very popular and has made many friends. She is so excited to have siblings, but especially a sister. I get frustrated with this excitement sometimes, though. She likes to help, which is good, but sometimes she gets over helpful. I like to do things on my own, I am perfectly capable, but she likes to jump right in and take over. She also talks a lot, but doesn’t have the full English, so her sentences aren’t complete and it takes a lot of charades to get a story across, and might I add, it is a story that should take two minutes to explain, but ends up taking about ten minutes and I’m still left confused about what or why she is saying this. I still love her, and I am glad she is here. There is just a lot of adjusting for me to have a sister, who is a lot like me. I do not get along well with certain personalities, and my personality is one of those, so I have to work on patience and understanding with Anastasiya. One thing that I see in her is gratefulness. Every time she prays, she thanks God for her family. She loves to just randomly run up and give me a kiss and tell me she loves me which always puts a smile on my face.

Although there are adjustments and compromise involved in adopting, I wouldn’t trade my little brother and sister for the world. They both adore me, which is so cute! They love to draw me pictures, and give me their toys. They also love to play games with me-hide and go seek is their favorite. Like I stated before, I have never wanted to send them back to Ukraine, I just need breaks. The idea of being a family of four, to five, then to six isn’t the hard part of the adoption for me. My family did foster care for about two years, so we are used to having new family members. The hard part of the adoption is the time it takes to get settled into the family of five then six. It takes time, but we will get there. I love having a big family and I want a big family of my own someday. Adoption has opened my eyes to so much and God has been there all along the way to guide us, we just have to look for Him. I feel blessed to have been a life changing part of these kid’s lives, and I can’t wait to see them continue to grow!

Full swing of summer

2010-06-13T09:04:00.001-06:00

We’re so glad to have the last few months under our belt. The school year ended well for all of the kids and now we are enjoying the relaxation of summer. We were able to enjoy a short stint at the beach for some good old family bonding. It was a great trip with lots of fun in the sun. We’re a big show to put on the road (or in the air), but it was worth it. It was nice to not have other distractions, and the kids all got along great. Back at home, the days do get long and I’m on the lookout for things to keep everyone busy and happy. Anastasiya had a wave of homesickness this weekend. Richard took her out for ice cream because to his way of thinking, ice cream can fix just about anything (hey – it kinda worked in Ukraine!). We also promised her a phone call home and that helped, too. She had a great time catching up with her aunt. Then I, knowing what helps any girl who’s down in the dumps, took her shopping! She’s doing much better now. In a few weeks, it will be her 12th birthday. We’re excited to share that day with her!

April Appraisal

2010-04-11T08:49:00.001-06:00

As we look back on the past two months, we are very grateful for how well things are going overall. We’ve established our new routine, and things are very busy, but running smoothly. Anastasiya is learning more and more English and fitting into school nicely. For the most part, the kids get along. It is funny(sometimes) to see her and Adam jockey for position in the house. They have the typical love/hate relationship the older two have at times. With the coming of warmer weather, the four of them have enjoyed going to the park together. The other day Anastasiya told Richard something about Allie being the only sister she’s ever had, and Andrew and Adam being the first brothers. Richard told her that she is the only sister Allie has ever had, too! When Allie was asking her about her friends at school and who her best friend was, she told Allie that she is her best friend. So the adjustment goes on, and we are happy with the progress so far. We updated our family picture:

Peace

2010-03-07T08:54:00.001-07:00

My prayer for our family this past month has been that God would give us peace. He has definitely answered that prayer although the house doesn’t always “sound” peaceful because of the laughter and craziness of the kids’ play. I also hoped that filling in the age gap between Adam and Andrew would help, and it has. They all four interact much more than the older two would do with just Adam. Anastasiya is happy at home and school, and pairs up with her sister or with Andrew or with Adam at any given time if they aren’t all together. The girls like being with each other, and Anastasiya looks up to her big sister. I think she’s envious of Allie’s retainer! That’s okay – everyone thinks braces are so glamorous until they actually get them! She goes to the dentist next week, so I hope our pocketbooks aren’t in big trouble. She likes to read and will sometimes spend some quiet time in her room reading. She has read through the books Richard bought her in Ukraine, but Luda let her borrow her stash and then helped us order some more on-line from a Russian website. When she’s not reading, she definitely prefers company which is good, but sometimes a little clingy. At school, I am working to keep her busy! I’m having her work some on English learning but I’m also trying to have her do what the other kids are doing as much as possible. My brain is behaving like I was actually pregnant four times- I think I’ve lost brain cells with each adoption. I can’t form much of a coherent thought or make any major decisions on a weekday. By Friday evenings, I’m asleep on the couch at 9:00. Richard is back to traveling for work, so getting all four kids out the door to get Allie to high school by 7:00 am is a little tiring. But, we are making it, and God has been good to us! We hope to post a professional family picture on our next blog. We are splurging on some nice photos next weekend (maybe). Anastasiya got a black eye swimming at the rec center (she’s not sure how!) with a new friend from school. I’m hoping that the touch ups will work well enough. I’d rather re-schedule than try to make the other eye look like it’s wearing the same “make-up.” I don’t want it to look like my 11 year old is that kind of girl!

We appreciate your continued prayers as we figure out our new lives! A prayer for peace is what we have in mind!

The Houghton Kids

2010-02-08T19:07:00.001-07:00

It’s been just under a week since Anastasiya arrived, and things have been going very well. The kids have been playing games, and the girls have been bonding with pedicures and beading. Anastasiya likes school so far! I think it helps that mom is the teacher. She does seem eager to practice English now. The kids have been enjoying learning some Ukrainian words. No big problems yet – we’re in the honeymoon phase of the adoption. She did cry and get upset when I took her for a trim with the hairstylist. She barely cut even a 1/4 of an inch off her hair, but you would have thought she took out the clippers for a buzz cut. Crisis is over, though, and we continue to settle into a rhythm.

Airport arrival and first day home

2010-02-03T18:56:00.002-07:00

Richard and Anastasiya had a nice welcome to America greeting by many special friends. The kids and I made a welcome home poster and had some flowers for Anastasiya. Several friends brought stuffed animals for her and Barbara brought flowers as well. It was great to hear the applause and the cheers when they finally exited immigration. We did some school shopping today and the kids had fun teaching her games on the Wii. She was skipping in the house and humming a happy tune earlier in the day - I guess that means she was happy! We can’t thank all of you enough for your love and support. Your continued prayers for our transition are appreciated. We will let you know how things go the rest of the week.

Have Visa, Will Travel

2010-02-01T07:38:00.001-07:00

Today we got our Visa in record time. So off tomorrow and on to the next phase of the journey at home.

Shameless Plug

2010-01-31T10:47:00.002-07:00

On this journey of adoption, there are many people that are instrumental along the way. I am afraid that if I start listing names here, I will forget someone. Here I go anyways.
Thanks to:
The Almighty God for the challenge of this journey (that is really just starting) and providing the way through it.
Ukraine Orphan Outreach (http://ukraineorphans.org/) for bringing our daughter to camp this summer. We did not know we would be on this journey before that.
Barbara Weaver (Adoption Journey) for taking my urgent late night call after the children left this summer. For completing the fastest home study possible and getting us on our journey without delay.
Valentin our facilitator for tirelessly getting us through the maze in Ukraine and home with our daughter. Also Tanya our driver.
Nicolai and Tanya (orphanage director and his wife) for caring for Anastasiya for the last two years. Their passion for the children and finding them homes is wonderful.
Anastasiya’s grandfather for loving her so much.
Karen and Julia for living their passion for orphans. Also, CBN for allowing it to be part of their jobs.
Our Family and Friends for their prayers and support.
Lastly, Blog followers, thanks for keeping up with the Journey.

A Send Off

2010-01-30T14:17:00.001-07:00

Today I met Anastasiya’s step-grandfather and his wife in their home. I cannot put into words what all I experienced. Anastasiya’s grandfather cares for her deeply and sees the adoption as the best way to care for her. It was a tearful time for all and was really more of a sendoff than a goodbye.

Passport In Hand

2010-01-29T07:00:00.001-07:00

Today was a crazy day, but much was accomplished. This morning at 11:30, I had Anastasiya’s new passport in hand and was heading to the US Embassy. With the traffic and all, Valentin and I left the car and ran/walked fast to get to the Embassy before noon to turn in all the paperwork except the medical. We then went to the medical office and completed the medical visit. Monday afternoon, we should have the Visa and be able to travel on Tuesday.

Thanks for all the prayers for the Birth Certificate and the Passport. Both are very difficult items in the Kiev region right now and both took miracles to happen.

Never was much of a Scarf person

2010-01-28T12:22:00.001-07:00

I really never cared about having a scarf. Sort of seemed like a fashion thing usually. When I use to ski I used other items to keep my neck and face warm and really never had the need at other times. I have sure changed my tune about that since December here in Ukraine. I wrap up in my Christmas scarf before I leave the apartment each day. It has been invaluable for the walks to the grocery and the restaurant.

Now on to why you are reading today. Submitted the passport paperwork today and we hope to hear soon how long it will take. Please continue to pray for a swift issuing of the passport.

That’s it. We passed the day watching movies, eating and visiting our favorite Ukrainian souvenir vendors (or am I their favorite customer?).

Birth Certificate In Hand

2010-01-27T13:50:00.001-07:00

We were able to obtain the birth certificate today. That is one leap forward that I am very thankful for. The court decree says that she is to be part of our family the birth certificate seals the deal and she is part of our family (officially). The supervisor at the vital records office was very nice today when we went in to get the birth certificate. Now I just need get her out of the country. On to the passport process. Please continue to pray that we will get a passport quickly.

Paper Chase

2010-01-26T14:26:00.001-07:00

Today felt a bit more like the last adoption with running all day and waiting at the same time. We started the day by going to the county vital records office for the new birth certificate. The supervisor was not there, so no work can be done. We went to the county office to find the supervisor and then back to the vital records office. Now work can be done. There was a spelling error found in the court decree. Off to the court house for the new court decree and to the bank to make copies. Back to the vital records office. Now we need the original parental rights termination paper. Back to the county office for the paper, but it only had one stamp, so to the court house for the other stamp. The court will stamp this side of the page, won’t stamp that side of the page (apparently the side we needed). Back to the vital records office who accepted it even with the stamp in the wrong place (nice of them). They are too busy to work on today, but with Nicholi’s help (orphanage director) we will call tomorrow at 10 and see if they can complete the birth certificate tomorrow.

6 ½ hours later, back to the apartment. In all of this, Anastasiya and I never left the car except for lunch (at 2 PM). Valentin took care of it all while Tanya drove us around.

Anastasiya is not as sad today and we had a good evening together. Thanks for the prayers. Please continue to pray for the paperwork to complete and a path for the passport.

Tears

2010-01-25T13:38:00.001-07:00

When writing a blog, sometimes Cindy would ask about a title before writing. I usually said “blog first then we will come up with a title”. Usually I could not think of one either. Today, titles seem to keep coming to mind. I used the first one, but thought I would share a couple of the runner ups.

Ice Cream can’t fix everything!

Oh to have Ovaries!

But, back to the actual story at hand.

The journey picked up again today. Valentin and Tonya picked me up today and we went to the court house to get the court decree. It seems they could not find the electronic file that Valentin worked with them on last week. So they typed up a new one, printed and stamped it then were off to pick up Anastasiya at school. I do not think she knew I was coming today to pick her up. As we walked down a hallway at school, I saw Anastasiya before she saw me. She saw me, smiled really big and came running up and gave me a big hug… Wait, I was dreaming. It’s that alternate reality that parents of teens sometimes live in. Actually, she then saw me and hesitated in her next step. Then she turned around and walked down the hallway to a classroom and went in. One of her friends came up to me and said “Hello” in English. I must have been recognizable. I continued down the hallway and I stood there waiting for permission to go anywhere else. After a few minutes, I asked if I could go into the classroom and went in. She was in the classroom saying goodbye to her friends, hugging them and crying. A few of them were crying as well. She collected her things, put on her coat, headed out of the room, down the hall and to the car. The friend that had said hello to me had held up well until the last and went to a window in the classroom and looked outside while crying. We stopped by the orphanage to get her things. She got a small shopping bag and put a few things in it. She kept opening up cabinets, moving a few things around and going to another one. She went around the cabinets in the room several times almost seeming confused. I tried to help by pointing to her desk to make sure she did not forget anything. She almost smiled and grabbed a stuffed animal. Tonya came in and helped a bit. Valentin made a comment that she needed a women’s help. Anastasiya left most of things for her friends at the orphanage. We came out with just a small shopping bag. She spent most of the ride to Kiev looking out the opposite window and fiddling with her phone. When we arrived at the apartment and got our shoes off, I did get a hug and she snuggled her head into my chest. I looked at her face after awhile and she almost had tears in her eyes. Leaving her friends hit her hard today when she saw me and she is very sad about it. We went to lunch and then unpacked her suitcase that I brought. She was going better and not quite so sad. I made some calls for work and with the idle time for her the sadness set in again. I quite making calls and we used an online tool to communicate a little. I asked her if she wanted to go to McDonald’s and have dinner and Ice Cream. I made a father mistake by trying to be funny and said that Ice Cream helps fix everything. To which I received a polite “no”. She was doing a bit better by bed time and remembers with happiness that we pray at bedtime.

I planned to take some pictures with her friends and maybe some video for her memories. I came away with nothing. When I pulled out the camera, it just did not seem right to take pictures during such sadness. She does not like being on display. So I put the camera back in my pocket.

That’s it for today.

He arrived safely

2010-01-24T12:48:00.002-07:00

I thought I’d send word that Richard made it to Kiev safely! He’s staying in a different apartment, but he said it was nice. He was picking up some bottled water and food for breakfast and then going to dinner. He ate at his favorite Russian cafe – I’m sure the minute he walked in they whipped out the English menu. We’re surprised we haven’t been awarded some kind of customer of the month plaque by now! He’s very anxious to pick up Anastasiya tomorrow FOR GOOD! Thanks for your continued prayers for him.

Packed and ready to go again

2010-01-21T12:35:00.001-07:00

Richard is all packed up – not that he ever completely unpacked. We are pressing forward despite the uncertainty with the passports. He leaves Saturday morning and gets to Kiev Sunday. He needs to get her new tax number and birth certificate before he can get the passport anyway, so we’re hoping things are resolved by that time. We did get word that a family from Kiev region secured a passport today, but they didn’t elaborate on how it happened. We will press for more details in case it will help us out. We do continue to seek your prayers as we still have much to do before she can come home! I’ve been so focused on praying hard about the passports – literally crying out to God and beseeching Him, but then I felt like He has been telling me to focus praise – not just prayer and petition. The Lord does inhabit the praises of His people. So today I’ve been focusing more on praise of who He is – what I know about His character -rather than just asking Him to solve the problem. Please join in the praise – I feel that God is asking for a focus on praise.Thanks so much for your vigil on our behalf!

Prayer for Passports

2010-01-17T10:26:00.001-07:00

My heart is heavy for the families (soon to be ours included) who are awaiting passports so they can leave Ukraine with their adopted children. I have been searching scripture for words of encouragement and words to pray over them. I’m including some scripture here below. Feel free to include others in our comment section.

Psalm 18:32-36: It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.

Psalm 91:1-4: He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

Isaiah 40: 28-31: Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Remember that you are obedient to God’s command to care for the orphans, and lift your heart in praise. It’s hard to understand why this is happening, but take heart and do not fear. People all over the world are praying for this situation. God will bless your regard for the weak. Let His word not return void.

Our family has grown by two feet!

2010-01-13T09:15:00.001-07:00

Congratulations are in order – the judge ruled in favor our adoption of Anastasiya. We are so grateful for the wonderful thing God has done. He is faithfully watching over us, and we are amazed at how all the pieces are coming together. Unfortunately, we’re quite a ways from being “done.” Richard will fly back to Kiev on January 23rd to begin the paperwork process. Our ten days starts today rather than our court date. We still need fervent prayers. Since we are adopting out of Kiev region, the paperwork will be done “by the book” and there won’t be any quick shortcuts. Each document will take 3-5 days, and you can’t get one until you have the other. Right now, we have tickets for Richard and Anastasiya to come home February 7th, but there’s no way to know right now if that will work. So now Richard focuses on trying to put in lots of hours at work to earn more time away again and to get caught up! I will focus on getting our home in order and returning to work myself the first of February. Stay tuned for more of our journey! We can’t wait for our HOME to grow by two feet!

Court with a twist!

2010-01-11T07:28:00.001-07:00

We did have court today – praise God! However, there is a little bit of a twist. The judge will officially read the court decree on Wednesday.

So technically, we don’t have a decision today. Therefore, we don’t really feel a tremendous sense of relief – only a partial sense of relief. Valentin sees no reason why there will be any problem. The social worker and the prosecutor gave us the thumbs up, and all of our paperwork was in order. The judge said that we don’t need to be present to hear the decree read, so we will still come home tomorrow as planned. He verified that Valentin has power of attorney for all of this. The Judge definitely has a very commanding presence. I was not nearly half as nervous for Adam’s court. We were both literally shaking during court, and it wasn’t from the cold. This court was definitely more formal than our last experience. We aren’t sure whether our ten day wait starts today or on Wednesday, so we will wait to hear from Valentin. I almost broke down in tears when they asked Anastasiya her questions. It’s hard to remember much of what we were asked or what we said, but she did beautifully. She told them that she has no family and that she loves us and wants to come with us. They asked her if she felt any envy over our biological kids, and she said no. During her answers I was able to stop feeling nervous and remember why we are here and what we are doing. We are giving her a home and a family and a future. After court, we had to say our goodbyes again. At least we know that when Richard comes back, she will officially be part of our family. Please pray that the judge does rule in favor of her adoption, that Richard is able to come back without any delays, and that the final paperwork goes quickly and smoothly. And please pray for Anastasiya that God helps her feel secure in her future and in our love and commitment to her. Pray that she is excited about the new adventure ahead of her and that she is at peace with leaving her friends. Lord willing, we will be home tomorrow night – we’ll just be leaving part of our hearts in Ukraine.

“Love mama, love papa”

2010-01-10T12:07:00.001-07:00

I’ll let Anastasiya title this blog. We were relieved to hear these words on our walk after dinner, but let me back up a bit.

We arrived in Kiev an hour and a half late from Frankfurt, but at least we made it (really looking and feeling frightful)! I guess technically we were 16 and a half hours late. We’re in a different apartment this time which is a little bigger, cleaner, and cheaper. A welcome relief after our many hours of travel. It also has a washer! I’m glad, but I lament not having it the month we were here before! Anyway, we went right to sleep at 5:30 AM Sunday. At 3:00 PM Valentin arrived with Anastasiya. She seemed withdrawn. She did hug me, but Valentin said she was real quiet on the drive. I started to worry that our preteen was having doubts after spending time back at school with friends and with her grandfather over her Christmas break. It took awhile to warm up, but then it seemed like old times. Before long, we were joking around again and exchanging I love yous. We played some games of Uno (big surprise), and she had fun giving Richard the Draw 2’s and Draw 4’s. She kept very close to me and cuddled with me during a movie. Then we went to dinner and to get a few groceries for breakfast. She was very playful on the walk there and back. She said, “Papa walks fast,” and imitated Richard’s stride. She’s definitely learned some key things about her father over the past few weeks: he loves ice cream and he walks fast. She remembered the English words we had taught her, and I said the Ukrainian words she had taught me. We explained about court and that we’re leaving again to get back to the kids and work. We also told her that papa would be coming back to get her eleven days later because that’s how long they make us wait. He told her at that time, he would be taking her back to America after he got her new documents. She seemed resided to it all. I hate the way things have worked out with having to split up our time so much, but I think she knows that we’ve had no choice. We’re so ready to have both feet in America, and I think she is, too.

The weather outside is frightful…

2010-01-09T10:30:00.001-07:00

We knew the weather would be a bit dicey between Denver, Chicago, Frankfurt, and Kiev. Sure enough, our flight to Kiev from Frankfurt was canceled. We were able to reschedule for a 10 PM flight – giving us a 14 hour lay over. Thank goodness we planned an extra day just in case! So, as long as our flight does in fact leave Frankfurt tonight, we should still be in good shape time wise. Due to Richard’s intense travel schedule this fall, we were able to qualify for 1K status, so we’ve passed the time in the lounge. We’ve had food and beverages and comfier chairs. Our body clocks will be completely out of whack due to 36 hours of travel, but we’ll be grateful to proceed with court. Please continue to pray for that Monday court date, and that Anastasiya will handle us literally breezing in and out of town. We’re cheated a whole 12 hours with her on this trip, but it can’t be helped. We’re in God’s hands, so everything will be all right.

We would post a picture of ourselves, but it would be more frightful than the weather. :)

Home

2009-12-25T19:55:00.001-07:00

We’re both back home now, and how good it feels! It would be better if we could have brought Anastasiya with us, but it’s great to be with our other three. My (Cindy’s) travel day was hectic to say the least. It started when I arrived at the Kiev airport at 3:00 am to learn my flight to Frankfurt had been canceled. Thankfully, they re-routed me to Munich and then Frankfurt and then Denver. I almost didn’t make my flight in Frankfurt, and I was in a panic. I wanted to be home sooo bad, and the thought of spending one more night away from home almost had me in tears. My flight from Munich was late, and I only had a one hour lay over as it was. I had to take a bus from the plane to the main airport area, I had to walk ( no make that run) to the right terminal, go through passport control (about 75 people were ahead of me with only 30 min. until my flight left), go through security ( a raving lunatic guy cursing at the agents diverted all of the attention from putting things through the x-ray machines- only 10 minutes to make my flight at this point), and then run again to my gate. The plane was still there, and I collapsed into my seat. In Denver, I received a joyful reunion with my kids and in-laws. After I left Ukraine, Richard spent extra time with the Jensens since they had a travel delay. He made it home today and had some Christmas dinner before the kids opened the rest of their presents. I had let them open a few this morning. We will try to rest up and rejuvenate before returning to Kiev on January 9th. Stay tuned for Houghton adoption phase two in January.

Perspective

2009-12-22T04:47:00.001-07:00

I was reminded recently to pray and be thankful not just for God’s help in general, but those who God is using to provide. So I thought I would try to name a few key people here in Ukraine that have been providing for us during this long wait. I am concerned that I will forget someone, so please forgive me if I do.

Thank you to the Juggler (AKA Valentin). He is our facilitator; which means he is suppose to make me happy. That is the selfish part of me, but we have had the fortune this time of watching the multitude of us who all think the same thing. With all of the things out of his control it is quite an impossible task. Yesterday along with trying to get us to a notary, the embassy and the visit to the court house, he was also making sure the medical appointment and embassy visit was accomplished for another family. He was also picking up the paperwork of another family from the train and submitting to the SDA in the midst of it all. He translates documents sometime amongst all of this as well for the next families coming as well. Let’s not forget that he also changes tires (we were fast, but I do not think we are ready for NASCAR). This morning we had the unfortunate experience of learning that he will also help you coordinate getting home when your flight is canceled at the airport. Not much sleeping or eating the last few days for him.

Thanks to Tatiana for the driving and coordination of our living space. This is a crazy place to drive normally, but the weather this week has made it even worse.

Thanks to Julia and Karen for their help with church services, communication with Anastasiya, and some entertainment together. What a heart they have for orphans and people in general. Thanks to CBN for their work here in Ukraine and the surrounding area.

Thanks to Tatiana and Nicholi for their work with the orphans and taking care of Anastasiya until we could get her. They have such a heart of the children and do a wonderful job of taking care of them.

Thanks to all the families we have met traveling in and out of Ukraine adopting children. We have built some wonderful new friendships.

Also, for those who are reading the blog and responding, thanks for the responses. The encouragement is so needed.

Lost another battle, but plan to win the war

2009-12-21T10:44:00.001-07:00

Court eluded us today- at least the real court. Our preliminary court that we spent over an hour on slick roads to get to took about 5 minutes to sign a half piece of handwritten copy paper that said we understand that we have court on January 11,2010 at 2:00 pm. I guess it was better than signing a napkin, but it lacked an official air that would make us feel like we really accomplished something or that it was worth risking life and limb for. So, we still have court, the ten day wait, and follow up paperwork to accomplish in the new year. The current plan is for Cindy to fly home tomorrow, Richard on Christmas Day (the best we could do), and then we both have to return by January 11. We will both come back home for the ten day wait (cha-ching) and then Richard will return to finish things up and bring Anastasiya home. All three of us were putting on a brave face when we said our goodbyes, but tears stung the back of our eyes. That was the only time I felt sad – the other emotion following me the rest of the day was anger. My only attempt at sarcasm to lighten the mood was on the drive back. Tatiana (our driver who knows a little English) and I were waiting in the car while Valentin and Richard changed a flat tire in record time and I said, “This day just keeps getting better and better.” With a puzzled look on her face she said, “What?” Never mind.

Hopeful for tomorrow

2009-12-20T07:28:00.001-07:00

We hope that tomorrow becomes our “official” court day and not just a preliminary day. Perhaps the judge will see us and realize that we are good people, or perhaps he will just want to get us off his docket! We don’t really care why it might happen – we’d just be grateful for results.

A quick update on the last two days: We spent Saturday with Tabitha and Trisha (a missionary who Tabitha is staying with) and the kids at one of the big malls. The kids played in the indoor play gym and then we had pizza. Later in the day we had delicious Borsch soup that Trisha made. Today we attended church with the Jensens and their three new children at Karen’s church. We met Karen’s uncle, and we were telling him about our “possible” court day tomorrow. He stopped right then and there and prayed over us. What a special blessing it was. God has again provided encouragement to us by allowing us to spend time with other adoptive families. Karen explained some things to Anastasiya for us. She seemed a little upset that I might be leaving on Tuesday, but overall she seemed to understand what we’re all having to deal with. We hated to tell her that we have to leave and come back. She really looked into my eyes and searched them. She could tell I was a little teary, and I just told her I love her. When we had lunch after church, she kept hugging us and telling us she loves us. I don’t know if she was looking for reassurance or just trying to let us know it’s okay and she understands. It’s so hard when you feel like you’re playing games with a child’s life and with their emotions. Why can’t the officials put the kids and their feelings first? We were so hoping to be able to end all of this by year’s end and just bring her home, but we have to trust that God’s timing is exactly right.

A day well spent

2009-12-18T07:53:00.001-07:00

We met Tabitha and her new son, Oleg today. He’s a precious three year old who can’t wait to get to his new home in America! Anastasiya warmed up to him after a bit, and it was fun to watch them play in the apartment after lunch. We enjoyed hearing some of his Russian baby talk. He is so cute! We’re so grateful God sent new friends our way to help with the monotony.

We pulled out our last “new” item that we brought to do with Anastasiya – a hidden pictures book. She really likes it. We’ve been holding some things back so that we could refresh our interaction time now and then. We’ve also discovered that she’s a good artist like her new brother, Adam. They will enjoy drawing pictures together.

What to say?

2009-12-17T06:37:00.001-07:00

I have nothing cute or funny to make today feel better. We did get a call that we have a court date and time now set for 2:00 PM Monday December 21, 2009. The judge also commented that this was the first court date and he would review the case. It seems he could rule on the adoption case or defer to another court date. We will not make it home by the new year with Anastasiya. We will have to change Cindy’s ticket home that was set for Saturday (four weeks should be enough to get to court…not). Hopefully we can get everything approved before the holidays set in so that only I have to travel back in January. Yes, I will have to come home now and Anastasiya will have to go back to the orphanage until I return. Please pray that we can complete everything on Monday and then get flights home. Nothing like trying to fly home just before Christmas at the last minute. Ok- Cindy here now with her lame attempt to be funny (I have to try because it beats the tears of this morning). We were watching the Wizard of Oz and could truly relate to the sentiment that we’re not in Kansas anymore. I kept thinking, yeah there’s no place like home- thanks for the reminder Dorothy! If only I could click my ruby stilettos(just trying to be culturally appropriate) and say the magic words. I feel like the weird green guy at the door is telling us, “No one gets in to see the judge – not no one, not no how!” I do have to say that the cowardly lion is worth a good laugh. He cracks me up.

We need a miracle

2009-12-16T06:25:00.001-07:00

The judge is giving us the run around again today. He won’t give us a court date or time. Valentin is supposed to show up there tomorrow morning and try to get somewhere. Gee I’m glad we waited for the “right” judge. Barring a miracle, I won’t get to fly home and be with the kids on Saturday. In fact, if our court isn’t until next week, we won’t be able to finish before the end of the year because our ten days would be up during the Ukraine Christmas holiday. So, it’s possible Richard and I will fly home together and then he will come back in January to finish things out. We can’t solidify any plans to get home though until we get an actual court date. If we both have to travel back, Anastasiya will have to go back to the orphanage after all of this time with us.

We’re doing our best to keep a stiff upper lip. There’s absolutely nothing we can do to change things! I’m so tired of trying to find ways to amuse ourselves. How many games of UNO can you play? Today at lunch, Anastasiya ordered two different kinds of fried potatoes. We’re going to have to try to tell her not to do that again before our next meal. She’s really going to have culture shock when she realizes we don’t eat out this much in America, we don’t have soda and french fries every day, and mom and dad are going to make sure you have well balanced meals. She definitely has an opinion about things and we can tell she has a strong personality, but she has listened to us and made effort to do what we ask the next time. She does make more attempts at English, but likes mostly to do so when it’s her idea.

The extreme Colorado cold made its way here only without any sunshine.

I don’t know if it’s as cold as we feel on the inside.

Are you kidding me?

2009-12-15T06:08:00.001-07:00

We feel like we’re in some alternate universe playing a special Ukrainian game show called Wheel of Torture. When Valentin called to get the time of our court date tomorrow, the judge didn’t want to commit to anything until tomorrow because today is some sort of made up holiday. We’re thinking the chances of actually having court tomorrow are slim at best. PLEASE PRAY we get the date by Thursday if that’s the case! We just want to solve the puzzle and go home! We’ve bought enough vowels by now. There is still hope for me to make my flight on Saturday, but of course,each day is precious – especially for Richard who’s here for the long haul.

Yesterday we were able to go ice skating (I know to some of you it does seem like we are on “vacation,” but don’t let all the activities fool you). We were able to communicate enough to pay for the skating and get the right size ice skates. However, we didn’t realize that they have 45 minute sessions that run based on the clock – not what time you show up. So 20 minutes into our skating, they tell us to exit the rink.

Any words of encouragement are appreciated along with your fervent prayers.

Cindy gets Phil

2009-12-14T02:45:00.001-07:00

It’s my turn to get philosophical and introspective. There’s a lot swirling around in my head – I guess it’s all the time on my hands. It’s hard to blog sometimes because you don’t want to sound too negative and depressing (especially for those who are considering adoption), but sometimes you need to vent and share what’s going on so others can pray for you and relate to you (especially for those who are in country with you).

I guess I’ve struggled at bit with the green eyed monster of jealousy for those whose journey is clipping along at a decent pace, for those who’ve been in the same region and able to hang out with each other, and basically with anyone heading home or in their ten day wait regardless of whatever they’ve gone through to get to that point. On the other hand, others feel we are the fortunate ones with access to Kiev and some options for spending the day rather than being in the middle of nowhere with very little by way of entertainment/places to eat. I get that because two years ago we were out in the middle of nowhere faced with the same grim situation. It all boils down to the fact that we’ve all chosen to pick up our cross and follow Jesus, and we don’t get to choose what the path looks like. We could have stayed home and not stretched ourselves, but we came. I know I THINK I could have written a better book for this journey (mine would have less chapters), but God is God and He has a reason for placing each of us where we are to learn and grow. None of us has the same journey just like it is back home. Someone will always have a better job, a nicer car, smarter kids, better health – you name it. I guess God is reminding me that I need to get my head in my own game and focus my eyes on Him. I’m facing the fact that I wanted to follow God, but I wanted to get in and get out and not get burned in the process. Where’s the lesson in that? Relying on God usually involves coming to the end of yourself first.

Awesome God

2009-12-13T07:02:00.001-07:00

We attended the Ukrainian church that has English translation available again today. It was great to put my focus on God and off my problems. We sang “Our God is an Awesome God,” and it was encouraging to be reminded that God is reigning with wisdom, power and love. I hope it’s also an encouragement to the other families currently going through an adoption. The Ukrainian officials are not really in charge – it is the One who sits on the throne of heaven and of my life (when I get out of the way and let Him!). It’s hard for us because the three couples that we met at the SDA are already into their 10 day wait, but I know I should put my hope in God. Please continue to pray that we don’t have any additional delays after court or our 10 day wait that would prevent Richard and Anastasiya from being home by the end of the year. We run the danger of Ukrainian holidays to slow things up if they have to stay into January.

Killing Time

2009-12-12T07:24:00.001-07:00

We’ve found a few outings to go on to help pass the time. We went bowling yesterday and had some fun. We tried asking the cashier if he knew English, and he shook his head no. So we asked Anastasiya to ask him how much a game was. He said something back to her, and she was trying to let us know what he said. He watched the three of us fumbling around and decided he knew more English than he thought. He told us you pay by the hour. So, we played an hour’s worth of bowling.

Anastasiya and her famous wind-up bowling technique.

Then today we went to the Water Museum and had a tour in English and Ukrainian. It was very informational about water treatment and conservation.

Super size toilet – enough said.

The boy in the plastic bubble.

Anastasiya playing with a big bubble wand.

The Dnipro River

When we were researching things to do, we decided against the Chernobyl tour for the “extreme tourist.” Who was in charge of writing that pamphlet? Speaking of pamphlets, we could sure write one: If you’ve ever been on vacation and wished for more time, come “vacation” in Ukraine. They can think of numerous ways to delay your departure. Boss want you to get some work done while you’re gone? Don’t worry, not every place has internet access, and if you are able to use your computer, the power could go off multiple times!

Anyway, we were treated to about 10 minutes of sunshine and a little bit of a clear, blue sky for the first time in three weeks. It’s still bitter cold, but seeing the sun did “warm” us a bit. Please keep all adoptive families in Ukraine in your prayers. The families we’re keeping up with are all feeling a little disheartened right now. Thanks!

The cliff of insanity

2009-12-10T07:08:00.001-07:00

Every time we think we’re making progress, we seem to hit a wall. We do have a court date, but it’s not until Wednesday. I’m ready to impale myself. I’m already having a hard time feeling motivated to get out of bed each day. It was especially hard this morning when I knew we had no heat or hot water. There’s something about a nice, hot shower that helps you feel like you can take on the world. No such luck today. Then we learn that we won’t have court for another week. We also didn’t play our favorite laundry game of radiator roulette since they weren’t warm enough to dry our clothes on anyway. Sorry I’m so down in the the mouth, but I’m just pretty discouraged. Those babushkas better not mess with us today! When we called the kids today, they just seemed happy we had a court date finally, so I can take a lesson in positive thinking from them. Keep up the prayers that we have no more delays since we’ve already been delayed by the panel meeting and the court date. We had hoped to beat the 7 week timeline we had two years ago, but it may end in a tie.

Still trying to smile in the cold with a bit of snow.

No fear feast

2009-12-09T10:25:00.001-07:00

Thanks for praying about the big things and the little things. Our feast at Tatiana’s turned out to be nothing to fear – with the exception of one jello/ meat-worse-than-spam combo dish (which she sent home with us!) We dodged the bullet by not putting any on our plates. The rest of the food was really good – she just piled too much on our plates! I did have to laugh to myself as Richard waited for his coffee to get cold enough so he could gulp it down quickly without trying to taste it. I was glad he had the sense not to plug his nose and hold his breath at the same time. He hates coffee, but that was the only offense to his delicate palate.

Our host and hostess were delightful, and Tatiana sends hellos to everyone she met this summer. Tatiana gave Anastasiya a speech about being grateful for what we are doing for her, and she advised me to be firm and to not hesitate to give her lots of guidance on our expectations. She told me she knows that the kids behave differently here, and that I need to make sure Anastasiya works hard. She loves the kids very much and wants to see them succeed. We got our paperwork from the SDA a bit late today, so it will have to be submitted for our court date tomorrow. So, we still don’t know when court will be. I’m thinking it unlikely that we’ll have it on Friday, but pray that I’m wrong. If the “right” judge is not there tomorrow, they will wait to submit our papers because if you get the wrong judge, things take twice as long. Well, I wish we had better news about a firm court date, but hopefully we will tomorrow because the right judge is there.

Babushkas-2 Richard-0

2009-12-09T04:32:00.001-07:00

Most likely, we will get back late tonight and be too tired to blog, so I’ll share some humor with you to tide you over.

Richard unwittingly has gone a few rounds with a couple of babushkas while we are here. In the first incident, we were just minding our own business walking down the sidewalk, and a babushka walking the opposite direction took a defensive posture against Richard by thrusting the end of her umbrella in his direction. She wanted to make sure he kept his distance as we passed by one another. Her keen eye obviously spotted the imposing danger. He simply side stepped to get out of her way, but we’re sure she kept a wary eye on his receding form.

In the next incident, we were leaving our apartment with a bag of trash to deposit in a receptacle we had seen down the block. The front desk Nazi (aka Babushka #2) stood up and started talking and gesturing to Richard to take the trash down the hallway. He dutifully headed the way she pointed trying to clarify which door down the dark hallway she wanted him to go through. She became very agitated that he didn’t listen to her and know exactly where to go. She could not get it through her head that he was speaking English and she was speaking Russian! She kept yelling the unintelligible command louder and louder and gesturing wilder and wilder. He finally disappeared down the right hallway. On the way back back to command central (her desk), she was clutching her heart, staggering, breathing heavily, and shaking her head at Richard. Still unaware of the language barrier, she mumbles something to me that I clearly understood to be, “How can he be so daft?”

Welcome Wagon

2009-12-08T12:51:00.001-07:00

Today we met Darrin, Stephanie and their two bio boys. We shared a delicious meal and again, it was refreshing to be with people we can relate to. We’re blessed to have so many new acquaintances! We feel like the Kiev Welcome Wagon delegates or something. To keep busy, we shopped for some more souvenirs and enjoyed some quiet reading time. Hopefully, we’ll be able to divulge a court date tomorrow. Please pray that I am able to get a flight home sometime thereafter and that the rest of the process moves along quickly. We’re encouraged and energized by your thoughts and prayers.

One step closer

2009-12-07T08:44:00.001-07:00

We had our panel meeting today, and we got the okay to proceed with adopting Anastasiya. They first met with Nicolai, the orphanage director. Then they called Anastasiya in by herself – poor thing alone with 11 adults (except Nicolai was in there with her). Apparently, they mainly asked her about her summer in Colorado and they wanted her to promise she wouldn’t forget her Ukrainian language. Nicolai told Valentin that she handled herself very well. She had to write one more document stating her wishes to be adopted by us. After Anastasiya’s meeting, she left the room and we went in. They asked us why we wanted to adopt her in particular, what religion we were, if our church supports children, and where she will go to school. They again seemed interested that I was a teacher (yea me), and asked me where I taught. Someone brought up the fact that we had previously adopted from Ukraine and asked us if we thought we could give her a better life. The guy in charge asked us if there was support in our community for Ukrainian culture, and it was awesome to be able to tell him about all of the kids we know that had been adopted. We also shared that we want her to keep her Ukrainian. We had our pictures at the ready, but they didn’t ask to see them. Some of the panel members looked a little iffy as to whether they would give us the green light. They had the typical Russian scowl on their face, and seemed almost bored with the proceedings. I kept a bright smile on my face and we both tried to appear the picture of serenity. I kept wondering if my answers were good or not, but I guess we made the cut.

Anastasiya is staying at the orphanage for a few nights. We will pick her up on Wednesday afternoon because Tatiana and Nicolai have invited us over for a “feast” as Nicolai put it. Ok Kari and Heidi- pray it isn’t the fear factor feast! I reminded Richard that we could swallow things whole if need be. It could also be the makings of an interesting blog. No seriously, it’s so gracious of them to have us in their home – it isn’t every day you get invited to the orphanage director’s house. I can’t wait to see Tatiana again- she is such a lovely person. Nicolai was talking to Tatiana while we were at the regional office, and he handed the phone to me after a while and Tatiana and I talked. She said it was good our meeting went so good because there are some problems in their administration(we’re shocked!).

We got a nice surprise in that we were able to meet Maryna’s new parents. They were at the regional office. They are a nice Christian couple (he asked us if we were Christians), and they shared that Maryna is very happy. Maryna is one of the kids that came to Colorado this summer.

We were able to secure the paperwork from the region and it is in the hands of the SDA. We should hear back on Wednesday about a court date(fingers and toes and eyes crossed).

Another connection

2009-12-06T11:12:00.002-07:00

We met an American couple as we were leaving the grocery store Friday night. I noticed his Longhorns hat and we started chatting. We met up for dinner Saturday evening and enjoyed swapping stories. We all attended Karen’s church this morning and then we spent the remainder of the day together. It was so refreshing to spend time with new friends. We have a Texas connection, so we can keep in touch! After the heartbreak of learning that the boy they came to adopt isn’t registered nationally, they are on their way tonight to visit twin 10 year old boys. We pray their mourning turns to dancing.

We’re so looking forward to having our panel date tomorrow because it will feel like we are actually making progress toward having all of this become official. Please keep the prayers coming our way as we navigate the mine field of Ukrainian adoption. Things are going well with Anastasiya, and we continue to help her overcome her shyness at attempting to speak English. The couple we met used to live here, so they know some Russian and were able to help us talk more with her. I know it was nice for her to converse with them. The five of us played lots of games to pass the afternoon- adding “spoons” to our repertoire of games that don’t require a ton of communication. We had some good laughs over the Ukrainian swimsuit choices that we all encountered the summers we were here.

The Houghtons and the Atchisons

The girls at our new favorite Russian themed cafe.

Fear

2009-12-04T00:52:00.001-07:00

I (Richard) am a planner for those who do not know me; those who do will chuckle. I like things in order. I like to make a plan to accomplish a task and check off the tasks as I go. If you have read about Ukrainian adoptions, you will know this is not how it happens. If you have experienced a Ukrainian adoption, you really know this is not how it happens. When will I get home? How long will I be here? What is the next unknown hurdle that we will face?

We have all of this great bonding time and we are in the capital Kiev. We should be enjoying the sites and activities that are available to us.

Fear

I don’t understand a single word when I walk out that door and I can’t read a sign. I only feel comfortable that I know where I am in my imaginary square area. We have an 11 year old guiding us on the metro. She has done a fabulous job, but it is a bit like taking a kid from my home town, putting them in New York with a foreign couple that does not speak English, and then having that child guide them on the subway. (There aren’t any subways in my home town). How do I enjoy something once I get there? I can’t read the signs, can’t figure out how to pay, still need to get back to the apartment and there will be the never ending what to eat battle coming.

Fear

What do you eat at the next meal? Shopping at the 7/11 type of stores that are close are difficult to make much of a menu with. Some of it is just knowing that it will take three stores to maybe get the items you are looking for. (I am sure I have completely messed up the inventory ordering for cereal at one store, if there was one.) Shopping at the grocery store that is a bit further of a walk is only a little better. Even at that, I can’t read much of anything and many things I do not recognize. I have to ask my daughter if this is sugar (will she know what I am asking? And that was the easy one). How many times can you eat ham (me, a lot) or sausages in a row? So, find a restaurant again.

Fear

At the restaurant you first wonder if anyone speaks English and if they have an English menu. How much will the prices be for what I am getting? I know this is an English menu, but do I really know what I am getting (pepperoni pepper? Pork back fat?). Anastasiya seems to be getting the hang of ordering for herself off of the Ukrainian menu. Now, trying to communicate between us what she plans on getting, that is interesting. How do you say, I think you need something else when you can’t read the menu and don’t know what it is anyway. She will survive for a month more (hopefully only a month). When we go to the Japanese restaurant or TGI Friday’s, Anastasiya looks at us with no clue what to order. She can read the menu, but what weird food.

Fear

As you notice in each of these items, money shows up. Do I have enough to finish this process? Will I run out of money and what do I do if I do? Can I afford to go have some fun seeing the sights and eating out or will I run out of money? How long can I stay cooped up in this apartment?

Fear

Am I going to be stopped on the street by one of these official looking guys with a gun and asked for passport or papers. Asked why I have this Ukrainian child and why she is not in school. All the while not understanding a single word and having no documentation to have her.

Fear

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

It’s a zoo around here

2009-12-03T09:09:00.002-07:00

We had a fun day visiting the Kiev Zoo. It was cold, but it felt good to get out of the apartment and walk around. We managed the metro with a little help from our daughter, although we came out a different way than we went in! Good thing Richard and I recognized where we were. The lion cubs were very cute and playful with each other so we were well entertained. We also got to see the cheetah receive his large chunk of raw beef dinner.

I think I over did the walking, though, because my cold has left me drained again this evening, so we’ll watch a movie tonight to rest.
Finally, our long awaited panel date has been scheduled for Monday morning at 9 am. The social worker who we previously gave credit to for being so supportive had to be prodded by Valentin, but we at least have a date. After that approval (Lord willing), our documents go back to the SDA, and after their approval, a court date is set. After court, I plan to return to hearth and home during the ten day wait. At this time, we’re planning for Richard to stay here with Anastasiya. Richard was teasing that we may go through Nicotine withdrawal when we get home due to the large amounts of second hand smoke we inhale each day. Ukraine has many more smokers. I said, “Yea-we may need to wear a patch!”
I ran across a quote that is fitting to our time here:
”It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.” Ursula K. Le Guin

My beautifully coiffed hair thanks to Anastasiya

In front of the Tiger exhibit- the Tiger is in the background on the right

No weight loss, but wait gain

2009-12-02T08:23:00.003-07:00

Anastasiya is back with us today again and should be for the duration of the adventure.
With some of the conversation about how much weight I lost last time we were in Ukraine, I thought I would give an update. It does not seem to be a problem this time. We are not missing meals and walking miles every day. I have found my favorite Ukrainian food and have enjoyed it several times. Julia introduced us to a great little restaurant around the corner that serves Varenyky. I of course was teased for getting my potato Varenyky and having potatoes as a side. Cindy here now- I’m sure you already guessed that was Richard earlier because I don’t seem to have the luck with loosing that much weight. We are fortunate to be in the city with access to many choices for food. We’ve discovered several new places that we’ve enjoyed. Today at lunch we were two Americans and a Ukrainian eating lunch in a Japanese restaurant. Can’t get much more multicultural than that!
Well, I have a challenge for those of you praying we’ll be home by Christmas. You’d better double your efforts because right now we are still getting nowhere. We’ve been told for the last 3 days that we’ll have the date for our meeting before the panel, and we still don’t have it. There’s a chance it will be either Friday or Monday. Friday would be wonderful, but that seems like a long shot. Even if we go before the panel soon, we still have to get our paperwork back to the SDA and get their approval before we can have a court date. It looks like the soonest we can have court is a week from Monday:( So, prayer warriors, get on your knees!
We’re celebrating the fact that we still have so much time with Anastasiya and my cold is getting better, so there are positives! It’s just hard to be almost 2 weeks into this with no specific end in sight (déjà vu). We know God has the plan (we’d just like a look at the blueprint:D).
Here's a picture at the orphanage in front of some artwork made by the kids. Hers is the yellow sun against the blue background on the right.

The paper chase begins

2009-12-01T08:56:00.001-07:00

Richard had dad duty last night at all hours. Allie needed help getting to her passport in order to get her learner’s permit (that was 1 am) and Anastasiya woke up disoriented from a nightmare (that was 5:30 am).

Our paperwork is slowly progressing somewhere… we stopped by the social worker’s office this morning and she’s working on getting our panel date arranged. Then we went to the orphanage to meet with the director to get some paperwork from him. Anastasiya wrote her letter agreeing to be adopted by us :). After some deliberation, she decided to stay the night at the orphanage to spend some time with her friends and to show off some of her new clothes. We each got a big hug and an I love you before we left. We still haven’t been able to connect with Tatiana (the director’s wife who we met this summer), but Nicolai said that she wants to see us soon as well. Valentin will take the orphanage paperwork to the social worker tomorrow and pick up Anastasiya and bring her here after that.

Please pray for me to get over a cold that’s drained my energy. We’re keeping track of our days in Ukraine by how many days we’ve paid for our apartment. We pay in 5 day increments- so far we’ve been here 10 days. We’ll see how many 5 day increments we accrue by the time we’re done.

One through worship

2009-11-29T11:46:00.001-07:00

This morning we went to a Ukrainian church with Julia so Anastasiya could understand what was going on. Richard and I wore headphones that had English translation available for us. Several of the songs were unfamiliar, but we knew “This is the Air I Breathe” and “Here I Am To Worship". It was neat to quietly sing along in English while everyone else sang in Ukrainian. It was even cooler to know that God could understand both! The sermon was a good reminder that you can never out-give God and that you should store up your treasure in heaven. Anastasiya helped us navigate the metro to find the church since she’s the only one who could read the signs!

She was more animated today, and things seem to be getting more comfortable. We have settled into somewhat of a routine, but we miss home, friends, and especially our kids. We’re making good progress with bonding, but we know that there will be a lot of work to do when we get all six of us together under one roof. For now, we are just going day by day. Richard is trying to recover from his shock at dinner: Anastasiya ordered cottage cheese fritters with sour cream. Those two food items never get consumed separately by him much less together! She’s not only a girly girl (I painted her nails and braided her hair today), but she’s a froofy (made up word) eater.

Here’s a few more pictures of our time in Ukraine:

A Bit of Reflection

2009-11-28T07:59:00.001-07:00

We have spent most of the blog writing about the facts. Maybe today we will put a few notes down in reflection.

Before I do that, here are a few worries (or things that could make one anxious). The daily Bible reading that we brought with us has been hitting a lot of Job since we have been here. I have tried to look ahead and maybe skip to something more encouraging and uplifting. Who wants Job problems in starting a process like this? Skipping ahead did not seem right, especially since it would have to be several weeks. Maybe we are supposed to be reading this part. There have been good items each day to learn and things have not fallen apart yet in the adoption process. It is helping with the perspective on the small delays we have already experienced.

I was thinking last night about how different this adoption is from the first time. Hence part of our “Spoiled Rotten” Cindy wrote yesterday. In starting through the process of adopting, we pondered ,”Is this God’s path for us? Is this what God wants us to do?” I look hard at what is God teaching me or going to teach me in this. These are all the right things to look at, but last night it struck me that I have been looking at a lot of me in this. What if this has very little to do with me and what I am to learn? What if this is just about obedience to God’s plan? What if this is all about something great that God has planned for Anastasiya?

Tonight we will enjoy the company of Julia and Karen again. Another miracle that God has graced us with. Karen and Julia both helped us today on the phone in buying shoes for Anastasiya. We have shoes, so I think that means we were successful. I am learning I have another girly girl in the family. It is quite nice I must say, but I do feel ganged up on a bit here. (Cindy adds: How do you think Allie and I have been feeling at home for the past 2 years?) She likes to say words she already knows the English for, but she’s not ready to try out new words yet. We know that will come along the more time we spend together and once she’s in America. We’re playing Go Fish and Uno since she already knows numbers in English.

Spoiled rotten

2009-11-27T12:35:00.001-07:00

We feel pretty spoiled at getting to home base out of Kiev. Two years ago, we moved around eleven times, so we will enjoy the comfort and familiarity of the city.

We were able to pick up Anastasiya this afternoon and after 2 1/2 hours of travel and traffic, we came back for a quick bite of pizza, some more games, a shower, and now bed.

She seems very happy and pretty relaxed.

We forgot to mention a couple of blessings from yesterday. First, we learned that a Ukrainian couple was interested in adopting her, but her grandfather told her to wait for America. We are so grateful that God kept her available for our family- just more confirmation that we are in His will.

Second, when we were at lunch yesterday, we were talking about kids she met last summer. Then on a piece of paper I wrote down Allie, Andrew and Adam and put their ages beside their names. Anastasiya drew a big heart around their names. I added her name and age and pointed out that all of the names begin with an “A.” She smiled at that. It’s so good to see her willingness to express her feelings about the family.

She is able to stay at the apartment with us all weekend, so we will enjoy lots of uninterrupted time with her. Our paperwork is going no where for right now, but our hearts are moving at a rapid pace, so all is well. Thanks for continuing to stick with our story and for rejoicing in all things with us.

A Day of Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T12:45:00.003-07:00

We were able to get permission from the social worker to go and visit Anastasiya today. She asked us the usual questions about why we want to adopt, about other children in our home, our ages, and how we spent time with Anastasiya in America. I picked the right profession because she said since I’m a teacher that takes care of everything. She was less impressed with whatever Richard does. She was very pleasant and Valentin said that she is supportive of adoption. She told us there is no way to wave the 10 day waiting period (we hadn’t even asked) and that next week we will have to appear before a panel of 11 people with Anastasiya before we can apply for a court date. Pray that panel interview gets scheduled quickly! Apparently, they’ve already met once for the month, but will meet again to accommodate us.
From there, we drove directly to the orphanage and we had no sooner pulled up than Nicolai came out to greet us. He is the director. He said he recognized us from our picture. He said that we could take Anastasiya to Kiev for the day. Not only that, we can actually pick her up tomorrow afternoon and have her at our apartment for the weekend! This red carpet treatment was such a 180 from how we were able to interact with Adam. After several days of only playing with him for 2 hours and a litany of do’s and don’ts, we had to leave our passport and a blood sample to take him out for a few hours. Anastasiya came out moments later and gave me a huge smile and a big hug!

At lunch we talked on the phone with Karen and she told us Anastasiya said, “Tell my mom and dad that I love them.” We had to choke back the tears. We had a fun day playing games at our apartment. Anastasiya plays a mean game of pick up sticks. We worked a puzzle and colored and played with Polly Pockets. We used a translation tool on the computer to communicate and the first thing she told us was that she’s been waiting for us for a long time, and she loved us. No succulent turkey was to be found for our Thanksgiving dinner, we ate at McDonald’s! She hadn’t eaten much lunch, so we thought a more kid-friendly dinner might be in order. She shared her french fries at dinner and her Sprite at lunch and kept as much track of us all day as we did of her! This was a different Thanksgiving than usual. We were blessed to share it with our new daughter.

Referral in hand

2009-11-25T07:56:00.002-07:00

Our second attempt to get our referral was successful! At first, the official couldn’t find our paperwork after sifting through two piles, and we started to get sweaty palms-especially because she seemed flustered. She kept looking for our names in a book we sign after getting the papers,and couldn’t find us there. She kept asking for Anastasiya’s name. You can imagine the slight panic that began to build, but we maintained a calm exterior. I wanted to ask where the EASY button was. However, our papers were on top of a third stack that was off to the side, so everything was good. Our plan is to go to Anastasiya’s region first thing tomorrow morning and continue to go through the red tape to secure permission to visit her. As usual, we ask for prayers for a smooth path for our feet and a light for our path.
We met a couple from Argentina (wasn’t expecting that) who has been here 42 days and are on their third referral. We said a prayer for them, and we ask that you do, too. The husband seemed at the end of his rope. The third time’s the charm, right?
It was encouraging to see that God is calling people from many nations to bring hope to the fatherless.
One of the couples we met yesterday at our first attempt at our referral papers said that after they hosted a child this summer, they told their kids it was time for the child to go home. One said, “Momma, an orphanage is not a home,” another said, “I will be sad forever(at the child’s departure),” and another said, “I will be mad forever!” Needless to say, they are here to bring that child into her forever home!
We are filled with gratitude that God is answering your prayers! Thanks for lifting us up!

One More Day

2009-11-24T08:25:00.002-07:00

“Patience is the companion of wisdom.” St. Augustine
When we arrived to the SDA today to get our referral, it was not ready. The Kiev region is still under quarantine through today, so our paperwork will not be processed until tomorrow.
We wait knowing God is in control.
We enjoyed a British movie with Karen and Yulia tonight. It was so kind of them to invite us, and the movie and the company was excellent! God is so good to give us new friends during this challenging time in our lives. We know He has our lives in His hands, so we continue to be grateful for all He has done and will do.

Great news!

2009-11-23T06:06:00.001-07:00

We met Valentin in front of the SDA at 9:00 am sharp, and our appointment took less than 15 minutes. It was not scary this time, but rather pleasant. Maria had Anastasiya’s picture in hand as we were being seated. To say I was relieved to see it was an understatement. We had of course requested a referral for her but were given no promises. Maria asked us if we had spent time with Anastasiya and we said yes. Richard showed her the photo album we had brought that had pictures from this summer. She looked at each picture and seemed satisfied. She asked us if we knew right away that we wanted to adopt her. Then she asked if we had called her, and we were able to say that Julia had called her yesterday and that she was excited we were coming. Maria wished us good luck with everything and she smiled a lot and was very friendly. Valentin said we should have our referral papers Tuesday after 5pm. He said that Kyiv region is still under quarantine until Wednesday, so we would have to wait until then to go to the village and see Anastasiya anyway. We are just so grateful for the go ahead to adopt her that we don’t mind waiting a few more days to get started. Praise God that He is richly blessing us!

After our SDA appointment-notice how happy and relaxed we are!

We met a couple from Minnesota outside the SDA. They also had a 9:00 appointment. They were ushered into one room and us into another. They had been following our blog and already knew about us.

After leaving Valentin, we had lunch with Martin and Victoria from Denver. They hosted a girl this summer and have their appointment at the SDA tomorrow. We played tour guide for them since we’re so proficient at getting around Kyiv! We had lunch at the famous Ukrainian pick and point buffet and then we showed them St. Michaels, St. Sophia’s and the SDA. We took them to “souvenir row” for when they’re ready to purchase trinkets. We further dazzled them with a trip to the grocery store and the bakery all the while modeling how to point and purchase. When we parted company, they asked us how much they owed us. It’s kind of sad that we were able to provide this no cost service to this couple because we spent so many weeks here 2 years ago!

Thanks so much for all of your prayers! We’ve felt at peace, and we are so grateful that things are going smoothly so far. Please continue to pray for a smooth path for our feet.

A day with friends

2009-11-22T11:17:00.002-07:00

Our day began with attending a wonderful Christian fellowship in English with Karen. It was so nice to meet her after hearing such nice things about her from others. She has such a love and passion for the orphans of Ukraine. After church, we met up with Bruce, his kids, and Julia. We ate at an Italian restaurant and had fun getting to know the newest members of the DeYoung family. What wonderful kids they are! Julia called Anastasiya while we were there! Julia came to Colorado this past summer with the kids as a chaperone and translator. She said that Anastasiya is very happy we are coming. That was music to our ears!
We’re hoping to get our referral to adopt Anastasiya late tomorrow afternoon or early Tuesday, but of course flexibility is the rule! We are off to wash our clothes in the sink since our apartment doesn’t have a washer. We’re really glad we didn’t just bring jeans! It was good foresight to buy some “travel” clothes that are easier to hand wash.

Safely Abroad!

2009-11-21T09:01:00.001-07:00

After about 22 hours, we arrived safely in Kyiv with all of our luggage and without getting yelled at going through customs! Things are already going better than last time. We’re back in our old stomping grounds right off of Independence Square. It’s a good feeling to somewhat know our way around. Valentin helped us to our apartment, helped us exchange some money and get a SIM card for our cell phone, and then we were able to say, “See ya Monday!” We even stopped by our favorite bakery and bought some bread and bottled water. We got a smile from the attendant who managed to understand all of our non-verbal gestures. Our apartment is nice aside from lingering effects of a smoker. We are going to church with Karen tomorrow and to have lunch with Bruce and the kids afterwards. Two years ago we came to Kyiv without any such contacts, so again, we’re already better off than last time! Our SDA appointment is still set for 9 am Monday morning (12 midnight mountain time), so if anyone is up at that time, send a prayer heavenward. We will let you know how our appointment goes.

The time draws near

2009-11-08T15:21:00.001-07:00

It seems that despite things shutting down in Ukraine for a few weeks due to the swine flu, our appointment date is still safe. Pray that our appointment date will hold and that we will received the referral for Anastasiya. All we have left to do is buy some food for the trip and finish tying things up at our jobs and with our kids. Oh is that all? Our pile of stuff seems awful big considering it’s just the two of us this time, but winter clothes take up a lot more room than shorts and t-shirts! We also get to take clothes for Anastasiya since we know her size. Our kids are getting excited, and we finally are too since we’ve been able to get organized. We’re trying to stay positive even though we know what we’re getting in to with Ukraine adoptions! A song we sang in church a few weeks ago really spoke to us:

You are brighter than my darkest night

Stronger than my toughest fight

Just one touch from you, my king, my friend

and I’ll never be the same again.

We are claiming Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Travel details

2009-10-31T17:00:00.001-06:00

We made plans to leave on November 20th in order to arrive a day ahead of our November 23rd appointment at the SDA. The kids will spend some time with their aunt and uncle and then with grandparents until I get home. We are grateful to have those arrangements taken care of. We’re busy getting everything pulled together in order to start packing soon. I was able to arrange a substitute teacher for my class, so little by little things are coming together. Please pray that the plans we’ve made stay in tact and that we are able to continue to get everything pulled together. We appreciate your prayer support!

Have date, will travel!

2009-10-20T06:00:00.001-06:00

We just got a note from Valentin that our appointment in Kyiv is November 23rd at 9 am. We just got word overnight, so we will write more when we figure out what we are going to do! The timing seems great with Thanksgiving Break and then the Christmas holiday. In Ukraine, things will slow down there during the holidays, so please pray that we can get done what we need to get done before everything shuts down.

A call to Ukraine

2009-10-17T13:16:00.001-06:00

This morning, we talked to Tatiana, the orphanage director’s wife, just to check in. We had a bad connection, so the conversation was brief, but she did tell us that Anastasiya is doing well and she is excited for us to come. It’s hard to wait, and I’m sure it’s hard for Anastasiya to wonder when we are coming. We just keep praying for God’s good timing. We know He sees all the things that need to come together. Thanks for your prayers on our behalf.

… and waiting …

2009-10-10T09:19:00.001-06:00

We really can’t complain because so far we’ve been going through the adoption process with tremendous speed, but now we are in the “hurry up and wait” phase. We heard from Valentin that our dossier is approved, but not registered yet. The SDA is waiting to register it until Anastasiya’s status changes. She has to have been registered for one year to be available for international adoption. Her one year date is sometime this month. So this is good news because we didn’t want to get a travel date that was too soon before she would be ready. Hopefully, things will line up right when we get there. Please pray that the timing does in fact line up right and that there aren’t any major bumps in the road (we can always hope, can’t we?). According to Valentin, we can expect to hear more next week – we’ll keep our fingers crossed. In the meantime, we ask for your prayers with preparing our jobs and kids to be gone.

Our dossier is approved…awaiting travel date!

2009-10-03T19:34:00.001-06:00

We were the last ones to think that we’d be traveling this road again just two years since our adoption of Adam. To use a cliche’, God works in mysterious ways! He opened our hearts again to the plight of homeless children, and he used a precious little girl to help us realize it. So, here we are again open and ready to be used. We just need a travel date from Ukraine, and we will be on our way. Things will be a little different for us this time: we’re leaving our children at home, and Lord willing, we are planning to adopt a known child. We ask for your prayers that arrangements for our kids at home would go smoothly and for our jobs. We also ask that there would be no barriers to adopting Anastasiya. Please stand in the gap for us as we walk a road filled with anxiety and unknowns, but surrounded by the peace and provision of God. We know the spiritual battlefield we will tread, but we also know the One who has the victory. We hope our next post will have our travel date, and we hope that you will follow our story and pray us home with our new daughter!